Before or during our family day meeting to prepare for the upcoming intervention, many people ask us,”If we intervene will he hate us for doing it?” “Will he never talk to us again?” This is a grave concern for most families, especially the chief enablers in those families because of the fear of losing their addict or alcoholic. When we love someone we love them unconditionally, no matter what their flaws or weaknesses may be. Addiction becomes the addict’s personality, how people see them and eventually it becomes accepted that the addiction is just part of how things will always be. So if we love that person we have to love everything about them as a whole, including the addiction, right? Over time we accept that the person is simply an addict and won’t ever change.
In all my years of treating clients and doing interventions I have personally seen roughly 1% actually hold it against their families for sending them to treatment. And if you’re an enabler and you’re reading this you are probably asking, “what if my child is part of that 1%?” What if, what if, what if……. Try to take a minute and stop asking the what ifs and speak with a addiction specialist or interventionist and really hear what they have to say. If you can do that you are more than half way there to saving your loved one’s life and eventually hearing “THANK YOU FOR HELPING ME WHEN I NEEDED YOU THE MOST”.
The thing to remember is that treatment isn’t what our minds can make it out to be. Treatment is rehabilitation, betterment and most times fun. It’s a place where people genuinely care for others as a profession and a lot of them who work in treatment facilities are recovering addicts and alcoholics themselves. The reason to intervene may seem logical but to put it bluntly, we are stopping the progression of destruction and bringing your loved one to safety and onto a clear path to recovery; a much better life! The odds are that if they are in treatment and learning coping skills and learning to love themselves again, they will love you that much more.
Fear can make us do the worst and most careless of things and in the case of addiction, fear prohibits us from change. Preservation of what we have and want to keep is normally the thought process here. We fear that our loved one will hate us or stop talking to us because we dare to stop the destruction and intervene. That destruction is real and many times kills people. It is true that we can love someone to death.
No matter what your fear of intervening is, anything is better than what is going on now. All it takes is one glimmer of hope in an addict to start with and the sky is the limit. They won’t hate you or stop talking to you. They will thank you when they are in a clear state of mind and loving life again.
If you would like to speak with one of our intervention specialists, we are available 24/7 at (844) 688-8555.
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