Addiction and being co-dependent go hand in hand. Both keep each other alive and thriving as twisted as it sounds, but it’s very true. Take one away and the other vanishes. Strengthen one and the other strengthens too. To find oneself in a co-dependent situations to realize that you are part of the problem and sometimes simply acknowledging this can help to bring the vicious cycle to an end.
Refer to the list below and see if you or others follow these characteristics of co-dependency:
- Hiding the severity of the problem from most everyone and letting the weight of it hinder your life.
- Doing things for them that you know are not right, moral or even legal.
- Allowing fear to dictate your decisions.
- Can’t say no to them and you feel overwhelming guilt if you do.
- You do everything you can to ignore the problem and make it go away just to get a break from it all.
- You take the responsibility, blame or consequences for them, leaving them with none to own up to.
- Giving in to them when it feels like a conflict is coming.
- Feeling like it’s your fault they are in the condition they are in.
- You have to be around them constantly or find yourself obsessed with what they are doing, where and with who.
- You don’t know what to say anymore that will change anything so you leave it alone, leaving you with an empty feeling.
- People outside make notions or comments regarding how things seem worse or they’re concerned but you don’t see it the same way. And if you do, you don’t say it.
- Find yourself fighting with other family members or friends finding that you’re the only one defending your addicted loved one anymore.
- You believe that one day it will all change and they will quit on their own or something in life will give them that reason to.
- You hide that you give extra things to them to “help them get along”, including money and other favors or concessions.
- You find ways to convince yourself and others that you are not an enabler.
- Feeling like running away from everyone and everything but can’t.
Are you co-dependent?
If you’ve found yourself with these characteristics, you can most likely consider yourself co-dependent, if not the chief enabler of the whole situation. If that is the case you should be looking outside of your sphere for help because c0-dependency is an illness just like addiction or alcoholism. Co-dependency makes people take on the life of the addicted one. As an enabling co-dependent you are keeping them from hitting the bottom, rock bottom as it’s referred to. There is a way to let go of the addiction and grab ahold of your loved one without ruining everything as you might feel. This is what we specialize in and thrive at. Interventions should not just be talking someone into going to treatment. A properly executed intervention should be an ongoing process to help strengthen the family and keep them growing stronger together and further away from ever allowing addiction into the picture again. Call us and find out if an intervention would be right for you. We will spend the time to answer all of those questions you have in total confidentiality. We can show you how to live again, all of you.